We who are the addicted survivors of abuse

We who are the addicted survivors of abuse who don't address the effects of child abuse and neglect on our adult life are at high risk of relapse or bouncing back and forth between different addictions. When we the alcoholic/addict gets sober, all these feelings and memories they've been repressing and "numbing out" come rushing into consciousness. Just because we get sober does not mean we magically develop self-esteem and stop feeling worthless, ashamed, and inadequate, etc. On the contrary, with drugs and alcohol out of the picture, all these negative feelings are magnified. It takes time and recovery work with The Ten Stages to address these problems.

Additionally, we don't suddenly know how to handle their anger, practice assertiveness, build healthy intimate relationships or develop effective social skills. We will still blow up when we get angry, can't function in social situations, don't know how to get our needs met and avoid intimate relationships. These things must be learned during our study courses. Even when survivors of abuse are no longer under the influence of drugs and alcohol, we still engage in behaviours that are confusing and violate our conducts of behaviour with acts like promiscuity or relationships with abusive people. We can't understand why and this incites more feelings of shame and guilt, which may lead to a drink in an attempt to cope.

Since our childhood identity was shattered, never fully developed and/or is deeply attached to their drug and alcohol abuse, when we get sober, we don't really know who we are or how to fit into this world. We feel more fragmented, disconnected and lost, which results in lots of confusion. To have successful recovery with sobriety, there must be a successful recovery of self.